COPING WITH CHANGE: Part 2
We can adapt to change by employing a few skills. First of all, we can do ourselves a favor by acknowledging it’s okay, even normal, to have mixed feelings over change.
Secondly, we do ourselves a favour by granting ourselves adequate time to deal with the change. That is, not rushing ahead of our feelings. For instance, when a loved one has passed away, there is no need to rush to pack up their belongings until we choose to. A mom who has trouble parting with baby items, will eventually know when it is time to do so and hopefully find a fulfilling way to do it. There is nothing wrong with being methodical about adjusting to change.
We can choose to have an open attitude to change, to be an adaptable person. We can choose to put our pride down and be willing to learn lessons from the process. When we go through change and come out the other side and maybe even find that we enjoyed ourselves, our resilience muscles are exercised. We will become even more resilient when we try more and more new things and not only survive, but thrive.
The woman who doesn’t want her Christmas routine to change would serve everyone better by becoming flexible, positive-minded, and focused on finding a new solution. She could plan to have a celebration on a different day or plan to spend her time with a completely different group of people. She might even decide to start some new traditions that work well for everyone. And everyone will be grateful.
The person who likes to eat at the same restaurant at every celebration, would benefit from considering other’s feelings and interests. When they open themselves up to new experiences, and survive them, they will find they have something new to talk about and look forward to.
GATHERING WITH OTHERS
When facing change alone is difficult, finding a support group or peers going through similar circumstances can be helpful. Divorce recovery groups, new mom’s groups, retirement clubs and so on help you realize you aren’t the only one feeling the things you are. People give each other hope, that is the way life works.
It goes without saying that finding someone who is a good listener to talk to is very therapeutic. If you don’t want to bog your friends or family down, or if you don’t have a trusted friend, don’t hesitate to enlist the services of a trained counselor or life coach.
Some people use journaling to record their experiences, struggles, feelings and insights in stressful situations. Writing in a journal helps them to keep things in perspective and has been shown to be therapeutic. It can help them identify the issues bothering them and help them to plan steps they need to take. Looking back on journal entries and seeing how things worked out, provides faith that the new struggle will work out too.
One of the last stages of grief is acceptance. In order to be able to move on, we need some type of acceptance or closure. How we find that varies according to the situation. Here are a few considerations:
Finding closure may mean tackling the issue in as many ways as possible until we have exhausted all avenues and have reached a point of being ready to move on.
Closure can be marked with celebrations, certificates, parties, ceremonies or gifts.
THE BRIGHT SIDE OF CHANGE
Change open new vistas. Life becomes richer when we continue to learn and grow. Old perspectives are refreshed and renewed when we are open to change. Old memories aren’t tossed away, but will continue to be foundational and cherished. Making new memories will be fun. It does no one any good to live in the past while the rest of the world is moving on.
Change happens to us all. We are not alone in the mixed feelings it brings. When you successfully weather change and come through to the other side, use your experience to help others. Then you will see there is purpose in change.
To Read Part One Click Here
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