Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

 

  • Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still I’d like to express my thanks. Irving Berlin

 

  • I love Thanksgiving turkey…it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Funny Thanksgiving quote

 

  •  Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before. Rita Rudner

 

  • My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. Phyllis Diller

 

  • My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow. Rita Rudner

  • A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. Kin Hubbard

 

  • An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. Irv Kupcinet

 

  • Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. Erma Bombeck’s Funny Thanksgiving quote

 

  • Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. Michael Dresser

 

  • Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. Johnny Carson’s Funny Thanksgiving quote

 

  • You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. Jay Leno

 

And finally…

Thank you, Lord, for this e-l-a-s-t-i-c waistband!

Amen!

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all! May you enjoy all the goodies this Thanksgiving! I hope you all feel fortunate for something in your lives this time of year. There are great benefits in taking the time to make a list of all the positive things in your life that are going right for you…for all the things that you have that would be hard to live without, if not impossible.

You may be surprised to find out how many things there are in your everyday life to be thankful for. Things we don’t often think about…from people we love and care about, to material things…our comfy beds to our modern cars, and everything in between. And please don’t forget the forgotten, as there are many people that are having a tough time right now and seriously need your help.

Volunteer if you can! Or give food, a coat or mittens, or a warm blanket…give anything that you don’t need to someone that does. Give some good old fashioned kindness or encouragement to someone that needs it….whatever you feel you can give from your heart. It’s free and won’t hurt you a bit. Try it this season! They will feel wonderful and you will too! Two happy at once…not a bad deal! icon smile Funny Thanksgiving Quotes